Santana Nation Wey The Yam – Garri Don Cost: A Thank-You Letter to President Bola Ahmed Tinubu on How Santana (aka Fufu Akpu) Became the True Saviour of the Nigerian Masses
Your Excellency, President Bola Ahmed Tinubu, GCFR,
Asiwaju of Lagos, Jagaban Borgu, National Leader of the Renewed Hope Agenda,
I write this open letter from the bottom of my now-too-expensive garri bowl, with a heavy heart and an even heavier stomach that has been forced to adapt. Sir, history will remember you not only for subsidy removal, floating the naira, and turning the dollar into a motivational speaker, but also for the greatest culinary revolution Nigeria has seen since the invention of the mortar and pestle:
You turned pounded yam into a luxury delicacy and made Santana (fufu akpu/akpu) the national food of survival.
Once upon a time – say, around 2022 – if you called someone “akpu boy” or “fufu head” in the East, it was a low-key insult. “That one na akpu eater, pure village mentality,” they would laugh. Garri was the poor man’s reliable companion; a handful soaked in cold water with groundnut or sugar was breakfast, lunch, and dinner for millions. Pounded yam? That was for occasions – weddings, burials, salary alert days.
Then came 2023–2026.
Garri jumped from ₦400–600 per paint bucket to ₦2,500–4,000 depending on the state and how wicked the middlemen feel that morning. The “cheap swallow” became middle-class flex. People now post “Garri and groundnut date night” like it’s caviar and champagne.
Meanwhile, pounded yam – that once-humble Sunday special – has quietly ascended to Michelin-star status in the Nigerian imagination. A small mortar of pounded yam in Abuja or Lagos now costs what used to be a full family party pack. Only the elite and politicians can afford to “pound” on a weekday. The average Nigerian now looks at pounded yam the way Europeans look at truffles: “Nice… for those who can pay.”
And into this vacuum stepped Santana – the thick, stretchy, soul-filling cassava fufu that used to be mocked as “poor man’s glue.” Today? It is the undisputed king of satiety. One wrap of akpu is like eating three wraps of semo or amala. It sits in your belly like a loyal bodyguard, refusing to let hunger come near for eight solid hours. In this economy, that is basically a superpower.
Sir, you have achieved what no government program could: you made Eastern Nigeria’s most stigmatised swallow the economic equaliser. The Igbo man who used to hide his akpu pot from visitors now serves it proudly. The Yoruba man who swore by amala now asks his wife, “Babe, abeg you fit do small akpu today?” The Hausa man who lived on tuwo shinkafa now stares at rice prices the way a diabetic stares at sugar – with fear and forbidden longing.
Speaking of tuwo…
Tuwo shinkafa has become the Northern nightmare. Rice, once the affordable backbone of the North, is now priced like gold dust. A 50kg bag that used to be a month’s staple is now a once-in-a-quarter luxury. Tuwo made from maize is holding on for dear life, but even that is getting scarce and expensive. The average Northerner now dreams of the days when rice was so cheap they could afford to waste it on birds. Today, birds are eating better than some families.
So here is my sincere, heartfelt thank-you, Mr. President:
Thank you for making Santana the national hero of hunger management.
Thank you for turning “akpu boy” into a badge of financial wisdom.
Thank you for proving that when yam becomes unaffordable, cassava steps up like a true brother from the East.
Thank you for reminding every Nigerian that in times of hardship, the thing that fills the belly longest is the thing we used to laugh at.
One small personal question, sir (with all due respect and sarcasm dripping like hot palm oil):
Do you eat akpu too?
Or is the Villa menu still safely in the pounded-yam-and-ofada-rice zone? When last did you swallow a wrap of Santana with your own two fingers, no cutlery, no steward hovering? Because if the answer is “not recently,” then perhaps the real Renewed Hope is when the Villa kitchen starts serving akpu on Tuesdays.
Until then, we the people of Santana Nation will continue to chew, swallow, and survive – one heavy wrap at a time.
Yours in gratitude and garri-soaked tears,
A concerned citizen who can no longer afford three square meals but can now afford one very filling square meal.
Long live the Federal Republic of Akpu.
Long live the President who made it possible.
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This thank-you letter acknowledges the severe inflationary pressures on staple foods like garri in Nigeria and highlights the emergence of
as a crucial, affordable alternative for the masses.
- Unbeatable Affordability: While traditional staples broke the bank, Santana Akpu provided a nutritious alternative at a fraction of the cost.
- Quality and Taste: It provides the texture and satisfaction of traditional akpu, ensuring that the masses do not feel compromised in taste or satiety.
- Accessible Nutrition: Its widespread availability has eased the pressure on food prices, making it a reliable meal choice.
Mr. President, your commitment to Agricultural revolution, as reaffirmed in your pursuit of food security, is yielding results. By encouraging and creating an environment where high-quality, local alternatives like FSA Fufu Santana Akpu can thrive, you have shown that you are in touch with the realities of the masses.
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