Karaoke first hit the scene in the early 1970s after a Japanese
musician recorded a tape of backing music for a wealthy businessman
to sing along to with friends at a bar. Realizing how lucrative his
idea could be, Daisuke Inoue designed the world’s first karaoke
machine, Juke 8, and the rest is history.
More than five decades later, karaoke has cemented itself as a
timeless form of entertainment (and embarrassment) for singers of
all skill levels. But anyone who’s humiliated themselves with a
microphone in hand understands that there are certain songs that
should be avoided.
CTVNews.ca spoke with two singing experts – a veteran karaoke
host of 28 years and a University of Toronto vocal instructor – to
identify 10 songs that should be on everyone’s karaoke
blacklist.
Toronto-based karaoke host Jason Rolland
“My Heart Will Go On” by Celine Dion
This sappy love ballad was the
karaoke song-du-jour in 1997, when fans of the
epic romance “Titanic” tried (and often failed) to imitate Celine
Dion’s powerful bow-gripping performance.
“There was a time when I literally had to argue with people
every night because someone would sing it within the first half
hour of the night, and someone else would ask to sing it later,” he
said. “It was the go-to diva song.”
Its popularity has died down since then, but the tune remains on
Rolland’s list of banned songs.
“The main thing is, it’s a room sucker. It just clears the
energy right out of the room.”
“Baby Got Back” by Sir Mix A Lot
There’s one important rule about rap songs, Rolland says: the
words go fast, so you have to know them before they hit the screen.
“Baby Got Back” is a crowd-pleaser, but Rolland says few people
actually know the song.
“I’ve searched high and low for a good version of it where the
words load ahead of time, but it doesn’t exist,” Rolland said.
For those looking for a smoother rap song with a slower tempo,
Rolland suggests something by Drake.
“Bohemian Rhapsody” by Queen
There are certain songs that Rolland says he simply won’t play,
ever. Bohemian Rhapsody is near the top of that list.
“It’s just so overdone,” he said. “Ninety-eight per cent of the
time it’s by a group of drunken idiot kids that they can’t
sing.”
“Kiss” by Prince
Prince’s death in April prompted plenty of requests for hits
like “Purple Rain” and “1999,” but Rolland says most people don’t
realize how difficult it can be to recreate Prince’s signature
falsetto.
“It’s because he’s got such a massive range, people don’t
realize how low he sings and how high he sings,” he said. “People
go and try to do it and say, ‘I can’t hit those notes.”
Any musical theatre showtunes
Musical theatre junkies might think their word-for-word
knowledge of the “Wicked” soundtrack will impress the crowd, but
Rolland says it usually leaves most audiences perplexed.
“It’s talking and dialogue. There’s no context for it,” he said.
“A lot of the time, if (audience members) haven’t seen the show and
(they) don’t know what the show is about, they go, ‘What is this
about?’ They stop paying attention. They get up and leave.”
University of Toronto vocal instructor and singing
coach Mark Daboll
“You Oughta Know” by Alanis Morrissette
“Jagged Little Pill” by Alanis Morissette is among the
best-selling records of all time. But the album’s barn-burning
breakup hit, “You Oughta Know,” is riddled with musical landmines –
particularly in the chorus.
Daboll says the song begins “speaky-talky” with a rapid-fire
string of lyrics that must be “sputtered out very quickly.”
“When it’s time to get into the chorus, it gets really shouty
and screamy and very uncomfortable on the vocal cords. Even though
the range is very wide, it’s not really that high. But you get that
impression from the way Alanis sings it that it is,” he said
For die-hard Alanis fans who can’t resist an attempt, Daboll
suggests keeping the vocal cords relaxed throughout the song to
avoid sounding shrill.
“Total Eclipse of the Heart” by Bonnie
Tyler
Daboll calls this 1983 hit “iconic” but says it’s “potentially
screamy” if a singer doesn’t consciously plan their vocal
approach.
The hardest part, he says, is when the song veers into
powerhouse territory with the line “And I need you now tonight /
And I need you more than ever.”
“The problem is (most singers) will physically push to get that
air out. You don’t want to push on your vocal cords because that
kind of volume production is expensive, it really costs you on your
vocal cords, and it doesn’t sound very beautiful,” Daboll said. “It
can make you burst a blood vessel.”
“If I Could Turn Back Time” by Cher
There are some artists whose songs can be sung in various vocal
styles. Cher is not one of those artists, Daboll says.
“You can’t get up and sing a Cher song without sounding like
her. It’s just one of those types of voices,” he said.
To pull off Cher’s 1989 hit “If I Could Turn Back Time,” Daboll
has a step-by-step method to copying Cher’s unmistakeable
timbre.
“When I imitate Cher, I slightly constrict the throat and I
really narrow my mouth opening,” Daboll explained. “I bring the
corners of the mouth closer together, almost like trumpet lips, and
I slightly constrict the throat … It’s just a very narrow channel.
You hear her timbre, and then you just let something fall out of
you.”
“Chandelier” by Sia
Sia is one of the toughest modern artists to sing along to,
Daboll says, and most problems arise from her unique vocal creaks
and fries.
“Clearly, a lot of people want to sing this song, but it is
riddled with pitfalls, the worst of which is the mono-pitch,
speaky-talky approach at the beginning of the song. It’s full of
dangerous stylisms,” he said.
When most amateurs attempt to copy Sia’s “croaky” sounds –
particularly at the “one-two-three, one-two-three-three” portion of
the song – Daboll says they “rub their (vocal) cords together like
sandpaper,” which can be painful for both singer and audience.
“Hopefully you have nice friends who won’t condemn you for
giving it your best shot,” he said.
“Without You” by Air Supply
This popular karaoke song originally recorded by the rock group
Badfinger – which has been covered by dozens of artists
including Mariah Carey and Shirley Bassey – has a “slightly
overproduced” sound common in the 1980s that can be difficult to
capture in karaoke, Daboll says.
The start of the song is relatively easy, but the chorus can
become “a shouty screamfest” if a singer approaches it with tight
vocal cords, Daboll said.
“The idea is that you should imagine that your vocal cords feel
as loose when you go up high as they do when you’re lower,” he
said.